I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
