3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
