Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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