Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
