You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
