Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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