I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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