I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
