ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
