Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
