Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
