I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
