Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
