she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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