In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
