Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
