bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize