No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
