My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
