He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
