And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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