Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
