people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
