You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
