just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
