He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
