We're like a lot better than the average bears
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize