Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
