I should be sponsored by Trojan
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
