She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
