hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
