my room smells like sperm. sweet.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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