I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
