i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
