and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
