question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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