She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dignity is for republicans.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
