just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
