An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
