New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
