Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
