i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
