carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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