Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
