Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
