found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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