i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
