My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize