in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
