She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
