it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I checked into jail on foursquare
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize