He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
