She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
