Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
