so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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