What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
