I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
