Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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