no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
