She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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