We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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