a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
