First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
