We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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