I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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