this just has baby written all over it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
