I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ugly people sure do ruin things
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
