just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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