and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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