You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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