I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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