ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
