I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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