You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
