im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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