well you can't waste a boner
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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