she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
