careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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